Download Crooked Little Vein: A Novel by Warren Ellis PDF

By Warren Ellis

Burned-out deepest dick Michael McGill must jump-start his profession. What he will get as a substitute is a farm animals prod to the crotch. The president's heroin-addicted leader of employees desires McGill to discover the Constitution—the actual one the Founding Fathers secretly devised throughout gravest obstacle. And with God, civility, and Mom's do-it-yourself apple pie already useless or demise, that point is now. yet McGill has a expertise for stumbling into each that you can think of depravity—and this situation is riding him even deeper into America's darkest, dankest underbelly, towards obscenities that boggle even his brain.

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The word NULL was clear. The other major term seemed to be MHP BUKKAKE. Bukkake, whatever it was, appeared to be hip among the young folk of today. So, like an idiot, I went in. The hall was lit by a single lamp with a green shade, turning everything the color of snot. A large man who 32 Crooked Little Vein appeared not to know he was bald sat at a chair and table boosted from a school, asscheeks overflowing the seat’s weathered plastic. He clanked a tin box full of coins at me. “Two bucks,” he croaked.

I walked in and he put his penis in the vacuum cleaner and switched it on. Ripped the entire skin off his penis instantly. That’s degloving. ” “Jesus Christ, Mike . ” “Big old fat naked dead guy flopped over a vacuum cleaner that was still chewing on his dick. ” She looked at me. Direct eye contact, a little creasing of her mouth. I realized it was pity. ” She came back with doubles and sank back into her chair. ” “And you call yourself a detective. ” “Okay . . ” “Apparently you weren’t supposed to.

Trix and I were the last ones standing. ” Trix and I looked at each other. And then she laughed. “This is just a perfect way to start, Mr. ” I rolled with it and grabbed the bags. ” The cab launched off the sidewalk like a cruise missile. It turned out the cab had two speeds; stop and golikefuckinghell. The cabbie grappled with his machine like a sumo, wrestling the ballistic cab around corners, great thrusts to the steering wheel to keep the thing on target, slapping it around when it started to fishtail.

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