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By Leanne Shirtliffe

"Leanne Shirtliffe writes with hilarity and poignancy as to the rigors and pains (literally) of motherhood. She is our new Erma Bombeck!"
--Elizabeth Boyle, manhattan occasions best-selling author
As a lady used to touring and residing the excessive existence in Bangkok, Leanne Shirtliffe famous the consistent fodder for humor during pregnancy with twins in Asia's sin urban. yet inspite of deep-fried malicious program delicacies and nurses who conceal baby bassinets with plastic wrap, Shirtliffe manages to maintain her infants alive for a yr with support from a Coca-Cola deliveryman, a number of waitresses, and a bra manufacturing facility. Then she and her husband go back domestic to the isolation of North American suburbia.

In Don't Lick the Minivan, Shirtliffe captures the unusual facets of parenting in her edgy, sincere voice. She explores the dangers of lifestyle with young children such as:
The celebration the place local children took domestic dermis rashes from the second-hand face paint she applied.
The time she chanced on her twins carving their names into her minivan's paint with rocks.
The funeral she officiated for "Stripper Barbie."
The horror of glitter.
And a lot more!
A not on time come upon with postpartum melancholy is helping Shirtliffe to achieve that whether she can't educate her childrens the way to tie their shoelaces, she's an outstanding adequate mother. no less than more than enough to begin saving for her twins' university, eh, remedy fund. and probably her personal. Crisply written, Don't Lick the Minivan could have mom and dad giggling out loud and nodding in contract. Shirtliffe's memoir will possibly not change a therapist, however it is lots more cost-effective.

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Extra info for Don't Lick the Minivan

Sample text

He asked as a follow-up, his pen hovering above his notepad. The angel spoke again: "A stern look, curtailment of privileges, sending him to his room for quiet time," I enumerated, "depending on the child's sensitivity. " I think Carl liked me. He scribbled away with enthusiasm. I was beginning to warm to this adoption stuff. Then Carl began to move about in his chair, appearing slightly uncomfortable for the first time. He looked at me, probing his teeth with the butt of his pen. " I shrugged my shoulders and presented him with an expression of unconcern.

Also, not least in importance, I would be able to save, save, save, because adoption was going to be expensive. In fact, when Janet began to recite costs by country, I found the figures dizzying: $7500 plus travel for Honduras; $8700 plus travel for Guatemala; $10,000 plus travel for Peru; $14,000 plus travel for Chile. When she listed a mere $3000 for Thailand, my heart leaped and I circled Thailand. Before coming to the information meeting, $3000 had seemed like a lot of money. Now it was beginning to seem reasonable.

They were supportive, very supportive. " Remember: the submission of an application is no guarantee of the referral of a child. Carl told me he would write up the intake and hand it in for agency review. But he did not foresee any problems. I suddenly felt that I had taken another solid step toward the child who, although he did not know it yet, was waiting for me. I felt like the sculptor Page 17 who already sees the image in the block of stone: with every cleave of the chisel he comes closer to releasing it.

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