By Edgar H. Schein
Helping is a basic human task, however it can be a complex one. All too frequently our honest deals of support are resented, resisted, or refused—and we regularly react an analogous method while humans attempt to support us. during this seminal e-book at the topic—named one of many best 5 management books of 2009 via strategy+business magazine—Edgar Schein analyzes the social and mental dynamics universal to all kinds of supporting relationships, explains why assistance is frequently no longer worthy, and indicates what any would-be helpers needs to do to make sure that their help is either welcomed and surely necessary. utilizing examples from many sorts of relationships—doctors and sufferers, specialists and consumers, husbands and wives—Schein deals particular options and illuminating examples that support us confirm what kind of aid to provide and the way top to provide it in any state of affairs. those suggestions not just follow to all types of one-on-one supporting in own relationships, educating, social paintings, and drugs but in addition might be usefully utilized to teamwork and to organizational leadership.
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Extra info for Helping: how to offer, give, and receive help
However, situational proprieties can change these rules. If I meet an old buddy and treat him very formally because I don’t remember him, he could well take umbrage at being forgotten, and I could be quite embarrassed by my memory failure. If we offer help, we expect one of two things to happen. Either it is accepted and appropriately appreciated afterward; or it is not accepted, but we are thanked immediately for our offer. It is not OK for the other person to walk away without a response. If offered help, we either have to accept it and be grateful for it or refuse it right away with a polite thank you and/or an explanation of why we cannot accept it.
Role relationships come to be scripted early 22 HELPING in life, and the normal process of living can be seen as playing out a set of scenes in which we act out appropriate behavior. Such acting reﬂects our learning of how much value to claim for ourselves and how to play both actor and audience appropriately in the daily ﬂow of social interaction. The degree to which the metaphor of theater dominates our thinking can be illustrated by the language we use. We use many words and phrases that imply that we are playing a part.
Bringing in a consultant means we can’t solve our own problems. S. being a prime example, the stigma of needing help also shows up in the reluctance to admit or advertise that one uses servants of various sorts. The sense of being one down applies not only to one’s perception of oneself vis-à-vis the helper, but can be even more strongly felt in relation to others in one’s work organization. In many companies, to seek the help of a consultant is tantamount to admitting that one cannot do one’s job.