By Dirk Jamison
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Extra resources for Perishable: A Memoir
A month after each diet, our civilian scale is maxing out again at a smooth 250. Dad tried to make a bet with me last time. He wanted to bet Perishable 43 five bucks that a military or zoo scale would detect at least another forty pounds. Dad strides ceremoniously through the living room with a mason jar full of bees and a sandwich bag of ice cubes. Mother has agreed to the procedure on one condition. ” Dad offers us a look of mock sincerity, then a wink, and leaves the master bedroom door ajar so we can watch in stacked silence.
So I hope to see Evel Knievel identify failure. Just before Dirk Jamison 36 hitting pavement like a gas‑soaked rag doll. Before writhing a hundred yards trying to kick free from a treacherous Honda stuck in full throttle. If I can see him face that moment, maybe I can understand grit. You’ll see an American in a silver jumpsuit, sitting in a dark sky. And he will have this to say: “I’m afraid. ” Dad takes a shot at discussing the trash idea with Mother, without disclosing his job loss. She is mortified.
But those eggs are undeniable. More trash means less work. Less work means more time. And finally, more life! Think of it! We can do whatever the hell we want! No work. Just skiing, sledding, igloo building. Food stamps. No! Mother despises food stamps. People snicker in grocery lines and checkers are condescending. She wants a normal, aboveboard life. Her father raised ten children and never once resorted to crummy welfare or scavenging. She wants to move to Oregon instead and be near Mormons who cherish her.