Download The Looniest Limerick Book in the World by Joseph Rosenbloom, Sanford Hoffman PDF

By Joseph Rosenbloom, Sanford Hoffman

A suite of a few of the looniest, top, worst, oldest, most recent, and silliest limericks.

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Sample text

They came back from a ride With the lady inside, And a smile on the face of the tiger. Sad Stories 31 Crashed in the Bay A daring young fellow in Bangor Sneaked a huge jet from its hangar. When he crashed in the bay, Neighbors laid him away Much more in sorrow than anger. 32 Sad Stories Many an Ounce A girl who weighs many an ounce, Used language I will not pronounce, When a fellow (unkind) Pulled her chair out behind— He wanted to see if she'd bounce. " Rex was right, for he dropped, And he saw when he stopped Three million bright stars and a moon.

Chuckles & Snickers 41 Let Us Pray The lazy old vicar of Bray Allowed all his flowers to decay. " A Most Horrible Squint There was a young lady of Flint, Who had a most horrible squint. She would scan the whole sky With her uppermost eye, While the other was reading small print. A Canner A canner, exceedingly canny, One morning remarked to his granny, "A canner can can Anything that he can, But a canner can't can a can, can h e ? " Chuckles & Snickers 43 A Hippo A hippo from Chesapeake Bay Decided to take up ballet.

Gelett Burgess There Was An Old Man There was an old man on whose nose Most birds of the air could repose; But they all flew away At the close of the day, Which relieved that old man and his nose. —Edward Lear Famous Limericks 57 Tut-Ankh-Amen Tut-Ankh-Amen, best known as old Tankh, Was a Pharaoh of infinite rank; But his sarcophagus Wouldn't cause all this fuss If his name had been Freddie or Frank. " Which grieved that old lady of France. —Edward Lear Well Protected Oh, I'm glad I'm protected from knocks, From my necktie clear down to my socks, And padded and bolstered Fenced in and upholstered With muscles to take up the shocks.

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